I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
