you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
