I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
