Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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