he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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