it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
