Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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