Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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