fuck your aforementioned shoe
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
