So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
