Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
