After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
