My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
