just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
