The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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