the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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