Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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