for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
