You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
