Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
