well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
