our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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