i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
