i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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