some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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