If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
