another moral hangover. fuck.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
