I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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