I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
