my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
