My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
