is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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