he wants to bone in the snuggie
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
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