just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
