he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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