my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
