Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
