All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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