I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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