so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
