That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
