I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
