Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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