once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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