well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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