doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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