I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
