stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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