writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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