TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
