i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
