idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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