haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
