i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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