it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
