i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
