what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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